psychedelicz

2007-07-16T23:49:00.000+10:00

Have you ever felt empty inside? That's all I'm feeling right now. Empty like you can see right through me. It's not helping that I'm alone here....I just dunno how to explain. It sucks to put your hopes on someone and to be let down. Will things ever be right? When? I keep telling myself no more yet I just can't help it. What's the use of having all these education when deep down I'm just a stupid girl.....

2007-01-14T19:19:00.000+11:00

Have you ever sometimes stopped to wonder whether the path you're on is the right on. That's the feeling I'm having right now. I jus dunno anymore whether what I'm doing is what I want or what I should be doing. Well...I guess everything will turn out right somehow....

2007-01-12T00:29:00.000+11:00

Happy New Year To One And All....

It's a new year yet everything remains the same for me. Nothing that I ever really want I've achieved............

2006-12-26T22:00:00.000+11:00

When you try your best when you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

Could it be worse

Lights will guide you home

And gnite your bones

And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

If you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will giude you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

Tears stream down your face

And I

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from the mistakes

Tears stream down your face

And I

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you.....

From the words of Chris Martin I hope you'll fix me and guide me home too cuz I'm so lost rite now.....

2006-11-26T19:52:00.000+11:00

Super Freak

She's a very kinky girl
The kind you don't take home to mother
She'll never let your spirits down
Once you get her off the streets

She likes the boys in the band
Says I'm her all time favourite
When I make my move to her room it's the right time
She's never hard to please

You know the girl is pretty wild
You know the girl's a super freak
The kind of girl you read about
In those new-wave magazines
The girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak
I really love to taste her
Everytime we meet
She's alright
You know the girl's alright with me
She's a super freak, super freak
She's a super freak, super freak

She's a very special girl
The kind of girl you want to know
From her head down to her toenails
Down to her feet

The girl is pretty wild
You know the girl's a super freak
The kind of girl you read about
In those new wave megazines
The girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak
I really love to taste her
Everytime we meet
She's alright
You know the girl's alright with me
She's a super freak, super freak
She's a super freak, super freak
She's a super freak, super freak

Bobby Flynn
Australian Idol 2006

2006-11-25T23:43:00.000+11:00

Went to brighton beach today. Had a mini picnic eatin fried rice with the birds hovering above us tryin to steal our food. Wasn't a sunny day so it was cold...Din stay for long. was there for about an hour. Touched the water. Cold...BrRRrRrRr...My cousin made me scream but wat came out was a squawk...Haha.. Then head down to Docklands park where we just took a walk. Went to this playground where we played on this thing that spins us ard. We spin and we spin and we spin once more...After that all three of us were so giddy and we even felt like puking. The place was very nice. Good for chilling..in the cold..literally chillin. Was a nice and lazy Sat...

2006-11-24T14:02:00.000+11:00

Home
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
N>

2006-11-23T22:23:00.000+11:00

Hey ho. Been a while. Moved to a new place. Been sleeping on the floor while waiting for my fren to go back to Singapore. No internet access for ages. Only depend on her generosity cuz gotta use her laptop. Going for 2 job interviews next wk! Finally! Looking for another place now cuz I'm only here for a month, Hope I can a betta place cuz this place is really old....And I'm paying $540 for it. Was supposed to get internet today but her landlord said he can't make it. And she's going off tmr which means the fucking weekend is without internet! FUCK FUCK N FUCK ONCE MORE! And she's not even remotely sorry abt it! I should have kept my mouth shut and not offer to help her with one month's rent. Then maybe I could be sleeping in a queen size bed....watchin foxtel! I'm such a dickies! Argh...Hate myself sometimes. Try to be nice but in the end gets fucked in the face! Anyway on a lighter note went on a road trip to Ballarat. Yah yah it's a small boring town but it's still out of metro Melbourne! Drove at 140km/h...Woohoo....When do I ever get the chance to do that in Singapore? Met some nice guys from Singapore. Immeran Ghaz thanx for everything guys! U guys rock! When I'm back we'll go on a road trip up to Thailand oraight? Anyway tired of doing nothing. Summer's fucking hot man! Mon temperature was up to like 36 degrees. Went out and got a fucking headache man! I need a hat! Fisherman's hat anyone? Till next when I finally will have my fucking internet! Cheerios mates!

2006-10-26T23:49:00.000+10:00

someone once said to me that as time goes by everything changes...i used to wonder if this include frenship. i mean if u're really tight nothing can change rite. but guess i was wrong. is it our distance or it is jus me but i know things will never be the same between us. i miss u. i wish u can be here with me. but somehow i'll hang onto the hope that u'll be my best mate again...i really do miss u...

2006-10-17T21:22:00.000+10:00

Been such a long time...So much happen from the last time I posted anything. Had some nice and memorable things but I just dunno where to start. Had such an enjoyable 2 wks with you...but alas it din last. U had to go and I had to stay. Wish I could freeze time. But I'm no magician. Guess all I have left are the memories. Exams are creeping up real fast. Now I dun even have the luxury to dream...I'm so torn...I love it hear but I wanna go back. I miss home...I miss my family...I miss my frens...But we can't have everything in life. Melbourne is beautiful but beauty is nothing if I can't share it with you....

2006-09-03T23:37:00.000+10:00

Another weekend passed....and things are still the same...I wish u're fine...

2006-08-31T22:03:00.000+10:00

It's been a while....I'm tired...Really tired...Tryin hard to find a job so I can stop askin mum & dad for money...2 tests coming...a 3000 word assignment due...Pardon me if I have not updated my blog in a while...Tired....Really tired...

2006-08-11T19:19:00.000+10:00

Got my work permit on Wednesday and applied for a job with Coles. One of my dear fren when I told her I applied for a job as a cashier in a supermarket she immediately asked....NTUC ah? Wat a laugh eh. Cute girl. Anyway I shan't put her down cuz she's helping me to be a fake referee. Yeah yeah. Cashier job and they need 2 referees. And she became the fake second referee. Thanx babe. I love you so. Anyway the next day Coles sent me an email asking me to take an online test. My god! The hassle I've to go through to be a cashier. It has like maths questions..inferring type of question...Man...can you imagine an old lady doing this test? This morning I got back the result of the test. It says....I'm a highly desirable worker! WooHoo...All those employers out there! Here this! But rite now I really just want the cashier job. I'm broke!...

2006-08-07T18:28:00.000+10:00

Was on my way to school and listening to my ipod when I heard a song which I have not heard in a while. It's by The Corrs and here's how it goes:

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away

It just makes me think how easily people fall in and out of love nowadays. So how do we know what we feel is love or is it just loneliness or even lust? He used to say he loves me...but i'm sure all of you know that's just bull. How many people actually mean it when they use the word or do they just use it to get their way?

Talking about love...I'm currently reading this book about a gay in SYdney who's so used to get what he wants just cuz he's a golden boy and how he felt when the one guy which he wants actually reject him.

A line in the book really hit me...

"I understand that you dun necessarily love the person who's good for you. You love and long for the ones who've hurt you"

I know so very well what that phrase means cuz I was there. Maybe I still am...maybe I'm not but I sure know how it feels.

Sheesh...being alone in the country really makes me go nuts. Enuff of this oredy...

2006-08-03T21:52:00.000+10:00

Had a nice time today except for the embarrasing moment in the train. The train was so damn blardy crowded after school on my way to meet a friend. My bag was so damn heavy cause there's a thick textbook in it. I couldn't even hold on to anything. The train jerked and to keep myself from falling i actually grabbed onto a guy's hand! My god! I'm so embarrassed! He was so shocked. The look on his face! When I realised I was holding onto him, I let go...only to fall backwards on top of a girl. I mean how much more embarrased can I get! And it's still 2 more stops from where I'm getting off. I din know where to look...In front facing the guy or behind facing the girl. My face was damn red I assure you. But after I got down it was alright. Had dinner at Macs. Then followed my fren and her housemates for grocery shopping. Had a good laugh. Maybe planning a trip to Phillip Island soon. Woohoo...PENGUINS HERE I COME!!!!

2006-08-02T19:54:00.000+10:00

Woke up at 745..dragged myslf to school which is 90 mins away...Went in for lecture...and guess what...THE LECTURER DID NOT TURN UP! Wonderful ain't it. Makes you wonder why you even make the effort when the weather was perfect to just stay in bed. So ended up going to Chadstone and had Hungry Jacks for lunch. Still wondering why MacDonald's is called MacDonald's...KFC is called KFC...but Burger King is called Hungry Jacks....Why oh why...Was pondering about it all through lunch with my 2 packets of sweet chilli sauce which cost me $0.10....Can't even go back home after that as I have a discussion at 330. So after lunch and after checking out 2...yes 2 not 1 supermarkets...(we were that bored)...I headed to the city to borrow a book from the library. Borrowed a book about this Australian gay just cuz the picture on the cover looks so delicious....Hmmm...Anyway took a tram back to sch cuz it takes an hour instead of the half hour on the train. Sigh...The things I do to fill up my time...Anyway after that everything's back to normal. Will end my daily ramblings with this song...For all your decisions that you've made in your life...I hope you had the time of your life

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

2006-08-01T17:40:00.000+10:00

I'm addicted to korean drama. I think I need help. Been watching it all the time at the expense of my readings, assignments. According to a friend of mine, Korean shows are trashy and she'll never watch them. I know they're trashy but somehow I'm hooked. I've watched 2 so far since I'm here and both have the same story line about rich guy falling in love with poor girl and parents object blah blah blah...but I still keep on watching it episode after episode after episode. It's like a drug that you know is bad for you but u just can't stop popping it. And another thing that I'm hooked on is CHEEZELS. Been eating boxes and boxes of them. BAD BAD BAD. Yes Ah Eng.I'm not addicted to Indomee like you but CHEEZELS. Dunno which is worse. Anyway enough ramblings....I'm gonna go watch my Korean show! Woohoo

2006-07-31T19:44:00.000+10:00

Storm's bad last nite. Could hear the wind and all. Was glad I was safely indoors. It's snowing here...Not here here as in where I am but up in the mountains. So near yet so far...Seen snow but have never touched it. Sounds weird but it's true. It was years back when I was in Nepal. There's snow on the opposite mountain peak but as usual not at where I was. Is me just me or is it just me? Woke up late this morning. Lecture started at 9 and I woke up at 9! How wonderful eh. And worse still I live so damn bloody far away from school. Was raining. Didn't really feel like going school but I have a group discussion on some topic that's been giving me headaches. If I don't turn up I may get a negative feedback and I might as well pack my bags and go home now cuz the assignment is half of my module assessment. I managed to bull my way thru as usual. People come well prepared with 50 printed pages but me....silly old me only came with 3 handwritten pages. Hohoho. Managed to get thru it. On the way home, saw this poor old man who was walkin with a stroller? Dunno what's the right word for it. It's like a walker with wheels. I really pity him. His speed was like 1m per 10 mins or something like that. It took him ages to get on and off the bus. Dunno why he wanna go out on such a windy day. Imagine him being blown away. Sigh...People should take care of their aging parents man. Dun let them just wander around like that. Wonder in this world where there're many more aging population than babies will we see much more of such scenarios in maybe 20? 30? years time. Should that happen to me, please help me cross the road yeah. Cheers!

2006-07-27T21:53:00.000+10:00

Just got back...So tired...Looking at the pile of bks on my desks beckoning me to them I just feel like shouting. Had my first tutorial today. Went without any preparation. There's this Indian fella...talks too much. Every single thing the tutor asked he'll have smething to say. What a show off...If cute it's fine...But he's...Oh well. Nothing much happen today. I'm so tired..Gonna sleep...

2006-07-26T20:42:00.000+10:00

Hey bro...I saw that. Yes yes. Guilty of not updating. Been really in over my head with sch. Just first week and the lecturer's going on & on abt assignments that is due on wk 11! I've yet to make frenz but they wan us to form grps. A bit too much rte. And the readings...oh god. Sometimes i wonder what I got myself into. I could still be earning like normal people my age...everyday answering the same ol' qns & gettin scolded for no rhyme or reason back @ chai chee. Then again apart frm sch life is quiet and fine here. Found a kaki to hang out with. A singaporean. We just slack in class...have lunch...make fun of the china ppl...And he's forever suanning me. Call me Kampung girl cuz I stay in Cranbourne. Oh well.Enuff of my ramblings. Gotta do my tutorial.....

2006-07-13T22:52:00.000+10:00

I GOT MY BROADBAND UP!!!!!!!YOOHOO......HOW EXCITING....Just got my voice back....It flew away for the past three days...All started with the world cup finals....Went down to Federation Square like 1+ in the morning...Freezing every part of my body to watch the Italians trash the French!!!!SWEET....The match was at 4 am so to escape the wind..between 1 and 4 we had to seek shelter at Macs (imagine eating fillet o fish at such hours)....then went to Crown to this place called BarCode...had drinks..play pool...Then 2hrs plus of freezing...To add to that it was drizzling...I was using 4 layers of clothes yet I could feel the chill of the wind to the bones...But it was an experience....

2006-06-30T16:27:00.000+10:00

Guess wat...My internet's only gonna be up in like 3-21 days time!!!!!!!!!! OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!! Help me!!!!!!!! Made some friends last nite...Matt who's French....Emily & Sean who're both Aussies...Naveen who's American...Rajesh who's Indian and Virginia who's half Belgium and half Thai.....Went for dinner...Had a great time and laugh....It seems almost like home...And not to mention Gail...my fren from back home...Had Vietnamese food...It was funny seeing Raj's face when we all had to use chopsticks & bowls...Luckily along came the fork & spoons & a plate just for him...Me and the Afro bros (my cousins actually but name was given by my sista) even made a list of where we can go to fill our time....We came wayyyy toooo earlyyyy...Oh well....Since I'm here make the most of it

2006-06-25T15:35:00.000+10:00

Yes dear Azri...I'll be safe....I messaged you but no reply....Bz ait? Anyway how's everyone.....I'm still getting used to operating on like 2nd gear....nothing more than 2nd gear....Weather's so cold....Get hungry fast...Shessh....Imagine how I'll look like...Still no internet up yet cuz Optus just called saying they can't do it cuz my landline's Telstra...Wat shit rite....I miss my MaxOnline!!!! I'm gonna have $2 fish & chips @ crown casino later!!!!!!!! Cheap & good!!!!!! Maybe I can buy 2!! Now searching for a place nearer to civilisation.....But I've paid my rent for the month so in the meantime I hafta stay put! Really stay put which is killing me! Tomorrow gonna watch movie cuz it's $5! Normally $14! Crazy man.....I really wanna go down Fed Sq to watch the Italy & Aust match but as u all know I'm living in the country I have no way to get home at 3am in the morn! Oh well...Til next time

2006-06-20T19:10:00.000+10:00

It's been such a long time since I posted something here. I haven't gotten to applying for internet yet. Everything is so weird and expensive here. How I miss Simgapore!!! On Sat went to town to hang out with my cousins. I missed the train back to the countryside where I'm staying at and had to wait another whole hour for the next train!!!! 1 train per hour!!!! I just feel so handicapped here. And with no internet everything's driving me crazy....HELP!!!!
I miss my frens! Maybe if they're here it wun be so bad...Oh well....Just gotta learn to love this place....I took some pics but as I'm at an internet cafe I can't upload it...

2006-06-10T13:40:00.000+10:00

Hmm....the last view from my room window. Even tho the noise from the traffic irritates the hell out of me I'll still miss home...I'm flying off today and I'm not feeling too good. Been coughing since last nite...Was it the combo of chix wings & birthday cakes?...Hmm..wat did I get myself into...Kinda have the feeling that my luggage overloaded...I'm like packing my whole room to bring over...At times I really dun feel like going....I hate the idea of leaving my family and frens behind. Gonna miss them so much...esp the Babes...They've been there with me thru most of my shit. They always understand no matter how screwed my actions are...Will miss the dinners...the gossips...the silly laughters over beer......

2006-06-09T19:47:00.000+10:00

1 more day and I'm not done packing yet!.....Somebody save me! (sing it to the tune of smallville theme song)....Just look at the mess in my room! It looks like it's just been bombed...Every corner seems to materialise things that I dun even know I have....Mum's kinda edgy...Keeps on reminding me abt this that..As tho she's the one going...Oh well....I'm tired....Til better times...

2006-06-09T01:09:00.000+10:00

Yoohoo...Guess wot...My sis has just created this blog for moi as erm...a leaving away prezzie so I can keep you guys updated abt my fantastic life?
Eh do enjoy the journey....